Sylph Angel

Monday, February 8, 2010

Hey, if you're reading this, thanks for still coming back despite me not posting.

As you should already know, I like a certain girl (yeah, I'm straight). Actually, I don't think "like" is the proper word to use... It's more of a gravitational pull. It's not my conscious choice to feel the way I do for her. Each time I hear her voice, see her face, my heart does a backflip, and I stop breathing. SHE'S JUST SO DAMN PRETTY, SO DAMN SWEET SOUNDING!

Which is why I tried to avoid looking at her, or hear her. With the fading of my memory, so fades the attraction to her... When I'm away. But each time I see or hear her, everything comes back again! And then I ask myself, WHY THE HECK DO I FEEL THIS WAY FOR HER? I mean, other people don't seem to be affected that much... Other people, not me.

I know we can never be together. I'm sure she knows that too. We're far too different from each other. She's from... Some random planet. I'm from space. She's strung to other people in a steel web. I hold on to thin, loose threads here and there. She's Ferrero Rocher, I'm fried ice cream. Yet most importantly, my feelings as not returned. Trust me, I'd love to drop it if I could.

Nevertheless, I'm stuck to someone who's not stuck to me. I tell myself finding a replacement's the solution, a replacement that actually will return my feelings. It's not easy, though. There's a reason why she scores 10 on my scale from 1 to 10 (everyone else gets a lovely 9). Elevens don't come by easy. I'm not even sure if elevens exist. Why couldn't I bond to someone... Easier?

This isn't a crush. I've felt a crush before, vaguely remember it from primary school. It's an overwhelming feeling to want to be with the person. Each time I see her (yes, I was straight back then as well), I would try and... Impress, get closer, charm. It's like flirting, with one specific target. Often, I would fantasize about us being together (TO GET HER HAHAHAHA), getting married, etc, etc (I feel damn open, for some reason).

Howeverrrr, I don't fantasize about being with her (ohh boy, all the "her"s...). We have no future. So I try to kill this desire, desire for nought, nought to be sought. Maybe someday, I'll succeed. But there is another way! (what's with all the "but"s?) This gravitation for her has great potential. Maybe not in the sense of a romantic relationship... Say, siblings/friends? My love for her will be strong, if I can allow it to grow without fear of... Whatever.

In conclusion, it's basically love her, minus other random stuffiezz like... Stuff normal guys feel towards girls. Sometimes it gets tremendously hard, for reasons I will not elaborate upon... I love challenges, bring it on! (at least this challenge comes without pain)

I love, I love, I love... For when all is coming to an end, may my heart fly as a dove. All wounds will mend, no more hatred, unforgiveness. There will be no time for vengeance. I love, I love, I love...

Because time's so precious now. It fades away, never returns. There will be times of unavoidable sorrow, where suffering abounds, and joy eludes you no matter how hard you seek. Yet the time is not now. Now, I can find it possible to be happy, and so I shall be.

Never again, will now return.

:D

So much for your happy ending?

The end doesn't come unless you say so.

I didn't know there was an MV :o

This is the third time. Hahahahahahahahahahahaahahaaaaaa!!!!!!!!! (:

:D

You were everything, everything that I wanted... And still want. I wish the first part is true, but it isn't. Doesn't matter, there's a future!

LONG POST HUH??

ILOVEYOUSOMUCH. WITH ALL MY HEART, I LOVE YOU. YES YOUUUUUUU!!!!! Don't ask who, cuz it's you.

Byebyebeyebeyeyeebeyeebbyee.

vεﯠαחƒőχ @ 7:53:00 PM.