Sylph Angel

Saturday, October 17, 2009

I can totally see why the movie "Gone With the Wind" is such a HUGE SUCCESS.

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I paid attention to myself when I was out, alone. Look at myself, as though I was someone else. Here are some stuff I noticed.

1. I give that face. Accentuate my eyebags, mouth turns slightly down, dead expression screaming something like, "DON'T TOUCH ME!" or, "I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU!" Admittedly, IT'S TRUE. Though no one (okay, almost no one), comes up to you and actually say such stuff, it's true in our hearts. Or am I being oversensitive?

2. I hardly ever glance at anyone for more than a second (or so). Sends out a message like, "you've got no place in my life". Which is... True, as far as I can see... haha.

3. I strut (unless I'm tired or something). That is, chest out, back straight, long, quick strides. I don't know, it actually looks quite elegant... But arrogant at the same time. Nononono, the main purpose is that I get to my destination ON TIME, quickly, with as little energy lost as possible. Decide not to run, because when I run it gets too obvious I'm rushed.

You know, how we sometimes seem to be really kind, caring to each other, but when it comes to strangers, so cold. Should we care, in the first place? I mean, what can they do to help us? What does it matter, if I show a stranger some love, some warmth?

I'm sorry, maybe I've become too scarred by repeated rejection. The cold seems to have bitten a bit of my heart off. The part which cares. Now my care seems to be forced, a mind thing, more than a heart thing.

How do I love again? How am I supposed to care for these people I do not know, probably will never know? People who may hurt me, should I trust my heart to them. Mhmmm, then how is it that people I know can't seem to hurt me (usually)? *pause and think, BRB*

OH I KNOW! It's because they CARE. This mutual care causes us to try and abstain from hurting each other. It works! Then again how can I be assured that those random people will return the love? I CAN'T. Yet, shouldn't love stream from me, never-ending? I try and think of reasons why I shouldn't care.

Ouch. I say hi, I get ignored, on purpose. The worst part is, I cared. Sighhhh it hurts... As you can see, I'm still reeling from shock at the heartlessness. Each time I want to do something, which I really should, I'm reminded of all the times I tried, and failed. I guess the only solace I will find is that people who hurt others hurt themselves in the process. The problem is, because I CARE, it hurts me when they hurt themselves.

RAWR!!

I'm loving sreamy songs.

Bye, training time. :(

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Ohh boy, learnt so many things today! Let me just pick out 2 verses...

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." - John 14:27

"If I had not come and spoken to them, they would not be guilty of sin. Now, however, they have no excuse for their sin." - John 15:22

Think about it. Yurr, THINK! Hahahaha, there's a difference between "think" and "think too much". Think about that too. Anyway...

I really, really, REALLY don't like it when people I care about become SAD. When they cry... :/ My heart feels connected, in a way. Their pain (most probably YOURS too, my dear reader) hurts me as it hurts them. I try to help, with that optimism (in most things, but with 2 exceptions) burning in my words, the slight craze. Regretfully, sometimes it comes to the point where... I try to help, but do more harm than good. ARGH, where's my optimism?

Woah I give up already, nobody's replying. No, it's more like nobody repliED, and I get :/ed. It's no fun anymore. Patience ran out.

About the second verse, it's a choice. It's your choice...

GOOD I FEEL THE SLEEPINESS. BYE! I'd better catch on it, or I may end up nocturnal again. Stay happy kay? All I ask of you.

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It's amazing how a single letter in the question read wrongly can result in the loss of 10 marks at least. That's right. ONE letter.

Basically, I read "plot ln y against x" as "plot lg y against x". As a result, I manipulated the equation, "y=pq^x" wrongly. True, I may have gotten the p and q values right, but all the steps wrong -.- Eww. OH WELL. Doesn't really matter. Haha, don't have to be perfect.

This happened because I ASSUMED. You see, the problem with assumption is that they're usually right, but when they're wrong... Good luck to you (and me :D).

Hahahahaha, lyric speech bubbles! New...

I LOVE new ideas, they make me go WOW. New revelations, new knowledge (which is not always good)... Yet the old Truths still remain... Standing strong, through the wicked weathering of the generations' afflictions. The Mission. Will you take up the fire in your heart, and shine?

"No one lights a lamp and hides it in a jar or puts it under a bed. Instead, he puts it on a stand, so that those who come in can see the light." - Luke 8:16

Shine bright. You can do it! :D

Arghhhh birthday party time. Mhmmmphh, act time. Sighh I don't like acting, makes me feel like such a liar. Then I wonder, what is the true me, anyway? Because I've been thinking over my acts so much, the spontaneousity disappears. The... Confident randomness. I've been trying to learn... My teacher bailed on me. HAHAHA. :D

I'm asking for it. I wonder if I can help it. I'm just so dreamy, not thinking properly... Not thinking at all.

I don't get it, why do I sleep SORT OF EARLY, and get eyebags, but other people sleep at... I dunno, 4am? And they still go about their day FINE, while I feel sleepy and dreamy... I pity her, knowing someone like me. It's just her, just her I can never be around... That feeling...

Do you know I'm over my head? Oh of course you do. Situation I can't handle... Oh boy, I don't feel sleepy anymore. EEEEEK!!

Turn on dreamstate again and I go to bed. CYA.

vεﯠαחƒőχ @ 11:53:00 AM.