Sylph Angel

Saturday, May 30, 2009

"Nevermind lah, still got chance. Just need to be rich, that's all."

Look, I'm not going to be rich when I grow up. Money is of little importance to me, I can't bring myself happiness with money. Maybe you can. Take the money then, have fun with it. But then I have no idea about what's going to happen, all I know is that I will keep fighting, no matter how bleak things get, no matter how weak I become, with all my heart, with all my mind, with all my strength, I serve, as He is the only source of eternal joy. I was foolish to think a human could give me eternal joy. I strayed from Your path. Thank You for drawing me back.

One Step at a Time - Jordin Sparks

It's your faith that makes you stronger.

I'm depressed now, but at least my vision has cleared. I have to sort things out. Eve should never have eaten the fruit of knowledge, but it's only human to seek knowledge. I wish I never knew, but now I know. Now what?

I have a holiday ahead. I wish my holiday could have the normal definition of a holiday (go overseas, have fun, etc). I don't want to train over seven times a week... All those trashy 1km sets, leaving me dead after every training. I don't want to die more then seven times a week. It's plain disgusting. My morale's gone to near zero, at least it isn't negative yet. That's it! I'm being positive. Good.

So much ahead, I dread to think of all I'm about to go through. What do I get from all this? I don't know. I don't value medals, not worth the pain. But there has to be a reason. I guess I will see. *sigh* It still sucks to recall all that pain, and know it's not over. I am afraid, always have been. It's killing my morale. Each day, I get more and more drained... The ultimate release, the ultimate reward from all this, freedom.

No this can't be. I need to get a life this holiday! Help me? No L4D anymore please it makes me damn sick.

Oh yeah, my phone's going to get confisticated next month. I've overused it. I predict heated scoldings from my parents. Oh well. Anger's out of my system. I'll just take the punishment. Not like my phone has much use now anyway. And they can no longer contact me, fantastic.

I need to sleep. Bye.

vεﯠαחƒőχ @ 9:51:00 PM.