Sylph Angel

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Hello. Evanescence rocks, gothic rock FTW! I go for emotional songs, they fill me with feelings I can't feel. It's not so much the lyrics!

Going Under - Evanescence

I don't have anything much to say. Except that... The holidays are here. Yay? Have fun training fourteen times a week, while I search for a life.

You Are Low Key and Relaxed

You are a dynamic, vibrant person. You aren't afraid to pursue your passions.

When you are happiest, you are calm. You appreciate tradition and family. You enjoy feeling cozy.

You embrace change. You love change. You see change as a rebirth.

You find solitude to be the most comforting thing in the world. Being alone with your thoughts feels very peaceful.

Your ideal day is chill and uneventful. You prefer to kick back and take it easy.

You are very impatient. You spend more time waiting for something than actually enjoying it.

The Autumn Test

That's enough. I can't help assuming the worst sometimes. Actually always. I have to prepare, such that the truth doesn't whack me too hard. Still hurts though, but before long it's over, and I move on.

I have this belief that pain and pleasure come in equal amounts. I feel pleasure, I prepare for pain. It's a cycle I guess... And it comes to a point where I can predict. I guess recently I haven't been heeding experience, heading for joy so blindly. Now I've got a roller-coaster ride of emotions. Fantastic. Why am I so hopeless? I should be trusting in endless joy! Yea, I will once I get it.

So I think, what is the reason for all this? Mmmm... It's knowledge! The only way to head for joy, and stay in joy, is to be blind to all sadness, or maybe have full control over my emotions? I choose the latter. Being a cloudhead doesn't suit me.

I tried emotions ground zero. That is, not feeling anything at all. But it's boring. Plus I end up depressed due to lack of happiness, just all that trash, disgusting. Then I ask WHY? I don't like so many things in this world. But they can be changed. I cannot make the world perfect, but I can make it better. In whatever small way.

If I can't bring myself joy, I shall bless you instead.

May you find happiness.

vεﯠαחƒőχ @ 9:30:00 PM.