Thursday, April 9, 2009
*sigh* I'm just so sad now... It turns out they can't change the events... Which means I'm competing... URGH!! I don't want to fight for the school kay? It's TORTURE. I don't want to do it... I seriously might as well just bang my head into the wall, get into a coma... And be free! But the thing is they can't change the stupid lineup so in other words, I have no choice but to go, as I'm irreplaceable. It's the only honourable thing to do. =[
We did two 1km sets today. Both weren't particularly good. I mean, probably good enough to get us into the final, but a podium spot? I'm doubting it. I realize the key thing slowing us is my trashed up morale. I don't get it... I seem to be pushing so hard, yet it's not enough... I've been pushing honestly for the past trainings, really! But my confidence is still down in the dumps. I find that I hold back at the start, because after 100m of whacking, I die out. Not that I hold back much or the holding back helps... I still end up dying and fighting like crazy just to keep going. But it's not enough...
According to my partner I should just pull out all the stops and whack like crazy. That I shouldn't care about what happens to me... The thing I'm worried about is me losing my energy, with him still whacking consistently in front. Then I'll falter, but I'll still fight on... Then I'll faint and we capsize and get disqualified. I've never fainted in a set before, but there were close calls. It feel terrible, trust me, like your mind is giving out on you. I don't intend to faint... Nevermind, I'll see if I faint next training.
Hello guys. I don't feel the adrenaline moving through my veins. I miss the feeling. Now there's just a deadness. Hey, to tell you the truth, it got better when I thought I was eventless. I actually felt a little bit of kick... Now it's all gone again =[ And there's also this constant pain in my arms throughout training, feels like someone stuffed freezing piece of metal into them. Not that I didn't feel these things before, but now they're constant pain, not periodic ones during and after sets.
Just so you know, my spacebar kind of broke, so my space is screwing up... Anyway, here's something sort of fun...
Which HP Kid Are You?Ahhh, Tom('s), Dick and(is) Harry(hairy).
Bye.
vεﯠαחƒőχ @ 9:36:00 PM.
